Grant Curnow

This week's guest has been popping up on my social media a fair bit recently. It seems his time is now and yet I know him from yesteryear. Not many people know this about me, but, for a brief period (mostly in 2013), I performed stand-up comedy. I would pop up in pubs and bars to do ten minutes of off-beat jokes in a line-up of six or more acts. On one of those nights, I met a smartly dressed young man with a ukulele and a small, plush Dalek. That man was Grant Curnow and he is travelling through space and time to be this week's guest.

Grant Curnow is an alternative comedian/tragic novelty folk singer and amateur time lord. Born in Cheam, Surrey, Grant is now based in Manchester. He has performed three full length shows at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival as part of the PBH Fringe: Amateur Time Lord Hour (2016),  A New Folk (2018), and Salvador Dalek (2022). This latest show was also performed throughout the UK at several comedy festivals (Leicester Comedy Festival, Faversham Fringe, Morecambe Fringe, Buxton Fringe, Greater Manchester Fringe). Grant's Debut album, Troubles of an Amateur Timelord was released on March 29th, via Seahouse Records, on all digital platforms.

It is over a decade since I last saw Grant and I'm looking forward to reacquainting myself with an old friend as I introduce you to a new one. So without further ado...

What is your favourite daydream?

It's basically me performing with an instrument I can't play, like piano, in a really successful band. I guess, because I play solo all the time, I fantasise about what life in a band would be like. Also, I have a fantasy about being an amateur detective. I'm bit of a romantic and I enjoy the idea of helping some tragic femme fatale. I'm thinking at the moment what crimes Mini Dalek and I could solve for a new Edinburgh Fringe show, Dial D for Dalek.

If you happened to be called upon to be a supply teacher for a short period (à la jury service), what would you teach?

History was one of my favourite subjects at school so perhaps I'd teach that. I would also like to teach music, but only if I could get away with lesson plans limited to ukulele instruction.

Has performing in comedy clubs taught you anything you didn't learn in school?

Lots. Mainly the courage to be myself. Learning to take creative risks has been useful. These risks don't always work, but I often find that things I didn't expect to work, or that I thought no one would relate to, end up generating the biggest laughs. Also failure isn't bad: you learn so much more from a bad gig than you ever do from a brilliant one.

If you could go back to school, what would you like to study that you didn’t originally?

Probably Politics. I love the scheming.

Thinking back to your time at school, might there have been a book in your satchel that wasn't on a reading list?

I mostly read dystopian novels when I was at school. Books like A Clockwork Orange and Brave New World. I was probably too young to understand them properly, but I was fascinated by ideas about what could go wrong in the future. Maybe in another timeline I could have been good friends with Greta Thunberg.

What else would have been in your satchel?

There would have been my packed lunch, Walkman, a CD I bought from the Virgin Megastore or HMV, and A Batman or Spider-Man comic book. The rest of the space was occupied by textbooks: it was very heavy and a very good defence against school bullies.

School’s out! If you had 24 hours to do anything you wanted (with unlimited funds and none of your usual responsibilities), what would you do?

Last year, for my 40th, I wanted to go with my closest friends to Loch Ness. I had always dreamed of going there in search of Nessie. We found it was quite a logistical nightmare however, and I ended up renting a lovely house in the Lake District instead. So, with unlimited funds, I would hire a private plane and fly us all to Loch Ness and stay in the poshest hotel possible. I'd buy a submarine, with all the top of the range equipment, and go looking for Nessie. I'm not sure what I would do with the submarine afterwards: maybe sell it on ebay.

What was the latest daydream of yours that made the leap into the real world?

I've started doing music videos for my songs. I have a song called Song for my Parallel Self and it's about myself in an alternate reality. I found the best way to visualise this was to make a Lego mini-figure of myself (a mix of Lego Batman's Robin and Peter Capaldi's Doctor) and act out the song through my various Lego play sets. I start off on Lego Sesame Street, get woken up by Bert, and finish in the kitchen of Lego Seinfeld playing guitar with Kermit the frog. It made use of all the various Lego mini-figures and sets I have collected throughout the years using a stop motion video app.

I'm about to do a video for my song about a hipster sheep (I'm Not a Sheep). I've made the beard for a sheep hand puppet and I'm plotting the scenes in my head. I'm going to play a farmer and I'm looking forward to sorting out my costume.

It's probably time for a lesson. What single piece of advice would you like to share?

A writing lesson: You get told you should stick to a writing schedule each week. I agree you should try and write something each week, but it's more important to fully think though an idea. It's better to start writing when you have a stronger picture of what you want to achieve. I'm still thinking about my amateur detective comedy show and will start writing it once I know it's ready. Also, I like to jog sometimes, without listening to music, and try to force my brain to think of a new joke, topic, or song idea. Even a long walk can really jog (sorry for the pun) the creative juices.

Now for the Random Question. If you had to inter-rail around Europe with a celebrity for a month, who would you choose to travel with and what would be your top three things to see or do?

I have two answers to this one:

Cool answer: I would love to travel around Europe with Samuel L. Jackson. I love him and think we would have a laugh. We would go to Germany for Oktoberfest and then enjoy a night out in Amsterdam. I would ask him every Star Wars, Marvel, and Quentin Tarantino question I could think of.

Uncool (more realistic) answer: I'm a massive fan of those Michael Portillo railway programmes, so I would have to pick Michael. We could go red-trouser shopping together in Paris, catch the late night cabaret in Berlin, and eat oysters on the coast of Spain. Bravo! 

            

Thank you for answering my questions, Grant. I'd recommend that everyone gives Troubles of an Amateur Timelord a listen. As Grant mentioned, there are some music videos available on his YouTube channel - link below.

You don't have to be a Doctor Who fan to enjoy his music, but if you are a Doctor Who fan you may be interested in listening to episode 10 of the Starbust Blue Box Podcast - Grant is the special guest.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grantcurnow/
Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/@grantcurnowcomedy
Music: https://seahouserecords.com/grant-curnow/